8 ways motherhood changed me

Hello hellooo Loyal Readers (Lesley & Hedi)

The most beautiful blessing in the world has been my son entering my life. I would have never, ever imagined love to this extent ever existed. Everyday is a miracle, and motherhood, my dear friend, has changed me in many ways, today I share some of these with you:

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My son & I at the Erbil Citadel. March 2015. Photo: Saza Muhamad.
  1. Work & career: Since the day I knew I was pregnant my work life was affected. My morning sickness became too much, my hormones all over the place and sitting in meetings or writing reports became unbearable. I had a month off work during my first trimester, then I went on maternity leave before baby arrived. It didn’t take too long before I wrote a resignation letter in tears because I knew I wanted to raise baby all by myself. I would have never given up my job for anything, but I managed to make the decision easily. How? I don’t know.
  2. Patience: If you know me well, you know I am impatient. Patience is something that I just don’t have. I can’t wait for a cake to bake in the oven for 35 minutes, let alone a baby cooking inside me for nine loooong months. Then the sleepless nights, the crying, colic, wait till you feed solids, wait till he sits, wait till he learns to smile… it is all about waiting. I am not sure if those around me realize it, but I know for a fact I have learned to master the art of patience a little more.
  3. Social Media: The last thing I want is for by child to see me on my phone or on the laptop 24/7. Before, social media was part of my life. I was online from the time I opened my eyes in the morning to when I went to sleep at night. Even at work Twitter was always one of the tabs. I am so proud of how far I have become, as I’m mostly online during his nap times now. I even turn off the wifi at times. This way, baby and I interact. This is a point that we both (husband & I) must keep working on- hopefully it will reach a point where we use social media in his first morning nap and once he goes to bed at night. You can’t preach what you don’t practice.
  4. Time is precious: Before baby came it would take me six hours to clean the house, two hours to cook a meal, 45 minutes to wash the dishes. Today, I can do all this in one or two of his long naps. I think this is mainly because I have a lot less time on my hands, so every second I have becomes precious.
  5. Planning & a yearly diary: For as long as I remember my diary was full of appointments, To-Dos, meetings, and outings. Sometimes I had it packed for two weeks in advance and everyday was something new. It is March already and I don’t have 2016 diary. I don’t plan anything ahead, because everything depends on baby’s mood that day. I don’t give promises to meet anyone next Thursday at 4 pm because I don’t know if mum can baby sit at that time, I don’t know if baby will be unwell or if he will be asleep then. I go with the flow. And yes, I am very lucky because none of my friends have complained about all the times I have said ‘sorry can’t make’ it or  for all the times I have ruined their plans.
  6. Social Life: I won’t say I have no social life, because I always see those dearest to me, and thankfully I am always in touch. But the ways have changed. before we would go out, do something, meet somewhere. Now, it is  almost always “can you come over?” because this is the most convenient for me. Sometimes they come and till they leave we haven’t sat and spoke properly because baby decides to be grumpy, other times they come and babysit while I cook or clean and sometimes we manage to have some chai and catch up. I am also very glad I’m still in touch with my former work colleagues. I miss them sooooooo much, they do make an effort to involve me when they socialize outside the office. They’re the best!!  If you live in Erbil you know that cafes, restaurants, or even public places are not well equipped for a mother with a baby. Hence, going out is always a hassle.
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I have the most beautiful memories in this city, glad I can share them with this little one now. Erbil, March 2015. Photo: Saza Muhamad
  1. Less hyper: Those who knew me before know that I am was always full of energy; Super hyper, running around and a little crazy. Not only does waking up four times a night takes away your energy, but the energy now goes into my son. Keeping him entertained, all the looking after he needs, the laughter, the games, this all takes away from the energy you have when dealing with other people. The time you have you want to sit alone and read a book (or write a blog, like I am now).
  2. Family is first: Family was always a priority in my life. However, work, friends, entertainment also had a big slot. Now, before anything happens, any opportunity comes my way, or any decision I have to make if it affects my family commitment in anyway I have seconds thoughts about it.

You change. Lots of things in life change you. But I know I am still me, I am still the Saza that everyone knew but with a different form of commitment. So many people say “poor you” or “oooooiii chan gunahiiii” Yes, it is tiring, but I never feel sorry for myself because as any mother will tell you, every second is joy. It really is. And I would not have it any other way.

Until next time I have some me time, lots of love from

My Nest in Kurdistan

Sazan,

Oh, one more point, I forgot to mention that my home is almost never as neat as it was, because toys, wet wipes, play mats, a lost pacifier and a milk bottle are almost always somewhere on the living room floor

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One thought on “8 ways motherhood changed me

  1. Dearest Sazan, Congratulations on being a great mother… I always new you could and would be a fantastic mother. You are doing all the right things, and are greatly blessed. As ever describing life with love and laughter, and of having chldren, most eloquently. Love and hugs to you all xxxxx

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