One of the biggest experiences in my life. No. Hang on. Correction: The biggest experience of my life so far has been the birth of my son. Mentally, physically, emotionally and in every other way. It was huge. I still recall one of the first gynecological appoints I had, the doctor bluntly told me “you’re not thinking of giving birth naturally are you? You can’t. You’re too small.” I mean she could be right, but it was like slapping me in the face, and I just stumbled backward, falling in shock.
At that instance, I remember looking down at my belly saying, “ok. as long as we are both healthy, that’s what matters.”
I went through a good eight months of pregnancy telling myself my petite built will not bring a child naturally into this world. Of course, it wasn’t all that smooth, you can read through my torturing experience with some doctors here and the stories I had heard about giving birth here. The more I asked, the more I spoke to my friends I came to realize more recently an increasing number of girls are opting for a selective caesarian instead of natural birth. Baby’s head is engaged, mum is healthy, the baby is healthy, yet mum-to-be walks on her own two feet into the operating theatre two weeks before her due date to have her stomach cut open under general anesthetics and for the angel to be brought into the world.
I grew through the weeks of my pregnancy to also believe this was the way I wanted it all to happen. The horror stories were too much. I had only heard one or two positive experiences, the rest made me have nightmares.
The system here encourages women to opt for caesarian. Doctors get paid more for a shorter period of time. There are no midwives and nurses busy for sometimes 72 hours with one patient. A c-section is a ‘simple’ and quick 45 minute, maximum one-hour, procedure. No one considers the side effects and pain afterward, nor does anyone respect the emotional hormones released and the bond made during the natural birth procedure.
It seems like an ideal option. The hospitals save on staff while making money. Midwives aren’t trained well to deal with mothers screaming in pain. Of course, mothers aren’t given any classes at the hospital in advance to prepare us for the birth, and the doctor… well, just depends on who the doctor is.
Oh and the husband? He is out of the equation. He can see baby later once its out, ready and changed. Holding his wife’s hand during birth? Are you kidding?
A culture needs to be revolutionised when it comes to this matter. A proper system needs to be in place with rules, laws, and regulations. Women are to be felt comfortable, and content in what is the biggest days of their lives bringing life into the world. It should be a celebration. Encouraging women to go under general anesthetics and have her stomach cut open without trying for a natural birth procedure first doesn’t do justice to the mum-to-be.
Oh, and after birth, it’s a completely different story. Postpartum depression support? Breastfeeding support? Skin to skin? Privacy? Pain relief? Oh no, we are not that lucky yet. Just go with what your mother or mother-in-law says and that’s it. In the end, you will be OK and the baby will grow, because “how did your grandmother give birth to 12 babies in a village and an hour later she went back to making bread.”
Somethings need to change.
Lots of love from
My Nest in Kurdistan