A’yba (shame/ful) is everywhere in our society.

Look right, look left and everything is a’yba. People care about what’s a’yba and what’s not. for God sake, they kill each other because of A’yba. I see so many issues that are the real a’yba, simple to address yet we let them slip from our hands because there are always ‘BIGGER’ matters to focus on.

However, here I am thinking if we came together as a society and started to label new behaviours as the real a’yba maybe then we can get somewhere. Just at the top of my head I can think of a handful of campaigns that the media, NGOs, celebrities, university clubs/groups and even private companies and individuals can do to make this society a better, healthier one. A society that is stress free (no such thing I know. Okay, how about a society that is less stressful?).

So, here are my list of a’yba campaigns.

  1. Child abuse – it is so a’yba to physically hurt a child. No slapping or using a sonda (hose) to hit your child if they misbehave or their report card is not all great marks. That goes for teachers too. Enough with the pulling of ears, zor a’yba! We are living in 2018!
  2. Mental health – It is a’yba for you to prevent your loved ones from seeing a mental health specialist. It is a’yba not to go and see someone who can help you if you need it. And it is so a’yba to label those who see psychologists as ‘shet’ (crazy).
  3. Community cleanliness – It is zor a’yba to throw your cigarette bud from the car (you know what, it is a’yba to even smoke so much, but we will leave that campaign for later before you all shoot me). It is a’yba to leave rubbish behind when you picnic, and it is soooooo a’yba to throw your water bottles at traffic lights.
  4. Know your medication – It is a’yba for a doctor to give you medication you don’t need, and even more a’yba if you don’t question, read and look into everything you are given. Know your darman.
  5. Drive safe – Speeding is a’yba, hitting a red light is very a’yba, not wearing a seatbelt is quite a’yb too. Having your child on your lap as you drive is her zor a’yb. Doing all those weird sounds with your engine in your fancy car is barasti a’yb, and not respecting traffic police is beyond a’yb.
  6. Respect Animals –Look. Cutting a tail of an animal is not just a’yba but so a’yb that you should bury your head in mud (qur) for the rest of your life. So is shooting animals for fun, and throwing stones at cats, dogs, birds and even a lion if it appeared (if your children are doing that- shame on you)
  7. Harassment – It is veryyyyy a’yba. Full stop.To make any woman feel uncomfortable in public (whether staring, touching, stalking or talking about the shape of her body) is indeed a’yba.
  8. Smoking (Nargeela/hookah included)– I have said it a trillion times. But let it be a trillion and one. It is a’yba to smoke indoors, it is a’yba to smoke in a restaurant around non-smokers, it is a’yba to smoke in front of your children—or my children— it is a’yba to provide Nargeela or sell cigarettes to KIDS!
  9. Social media – You know what else is a’yba? Disrespect on social media. Criticism is okay, but swearing at the person and their entire relatives is a’yba. Maybe if you had the courage to say what you’re saying from behind your phone at the comfort of your own home face to face then that’s acceptable too. But if someone is interviewed for doing handcrafts, and you’re sitting at home spending 99% of your day on your phone wasting time—and your life—then: kaka baxwa it’s a’yba to criticize someone who actually is doing something in their life, while you’re life is all about critiquing others with all the destructive words you know.
  10. Your phones: Socializing on social media is different to socialising in real life. So can we just label the usage of mobile phones during face-to-face social interaction as a big a’yba? Or am I asking for too much?

And that my friend is just a handful of things that should be a’yba and need to be campaigned for. Urgently. I wrote another list a while back, somethings are still same since then. You can read it here.

Oh one more.

Sending girls ‘slaw’ or ‘atwanm btnasm’ is … not a’yba, but kaka walahi it’s not attractive. Or is it?


Lots of love from

My Nest in Kurdistan

(yes, still my nest, with all these flaws)

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